Eulogy Postponed

And the miracle of today

Applicated and healing

I have filled out my application, signed my authorization for a background check and requested that three people tell Buckner how awesome I am.

Letters of recommendation seem so personal, so abstract and so anxiously boosting. Asking someone to write letters has always been something kind of fun. I’ve never had a job where things didn’t end well or I didn’t work my little tush off for them and I’ve got such a fabulous family structure (and I don’t just mean fabulously large) that there’s many people I can ask. But this application needs my “ministry leader” to write a letter for me. And the woman I’d like to ask lives in NZ! It doesn’t seem right to be asking without having the chance to meet up with her, buy her a cuppa and have a chat before just asking. And not just so she’ll write me a fabulous letter, because I miss my spiritual director! She put me on a good path and I don’t feel like there is anyone else I could ask who would be more qualified to write the letter. But I’ve had to write her a note on facebook to ask her. Which seems even more wrong and impersonal than it should. It’s frustrating, these waiting games we have to play!

My most travelling uncle has also just left for the wilds of India! Being in their house without them makes it feel so much emptier than it is! This place is always full of people and love and laughter, good smells in the kitchen and more love! So far it has been a nice retreat for me. I did some yoga first thing this morning for the first time since getting sick. Today’s miracle was the light on the trees as they’re changing colors just out the window. I so wish there was a picture to share, but alas my camera was not packed. Red behind bright yellow with a bit of that blueish green firs have. Breathtaking! Or was that because of my phlegmy lungs? But it felt so good to move just a little bit. And then I proceeded to be nearly completely stagnant for the remainder of the day. Except for my eyes. Practico el espanol! Y leo unos libros. I haven’t mastered past tense yet, but if I’m not done studying or reading the books, it’s not incorrect, either :)

Being gifted with stubborness, I have not yet been to the doctor (aside from my craniosacral healer- thank you!) and keep waiting for that I’m better feeling, ya’know? When you wake up in the morning, completely congested and grossly secreting from everywhere, but with a clear mind and ready to go… After a nice de-grossifying shower. Sitting inside is so hard for me! And being sick feels so like being lazy. I went out and planted three more rows of garlic yesterday with some scallions and did two hours of cleaning in the traveler’s home, oh and drove an hour and a half to get here. Not much work yet I couldn’t be bothered to cook dinner and ate a few ears of raw corn. Might as well enjoy that miracle while it’s here, eh?

So while I wait for my post-ill energy boost, I’ve got a great opportunity to read, study and maybe even get a little bit creative! I brought my drawing pencils, hey, hey! Let the magic begin!


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